Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
