you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
