Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize