Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
