apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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