he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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