No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
