So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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