Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
