Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
