I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
