Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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