You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
