I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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