the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
