There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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