Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
