so that wasnt chicken after all
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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