i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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