it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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