normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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