I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
