all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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