I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
worst night to have a conscience
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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