Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
