how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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