cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
