i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
