Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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