Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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