Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
