I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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