I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
