Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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