just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
