Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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