My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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