can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
