Can Purell be used as lube?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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