Apparently you make a good broom.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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