I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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