Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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