Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize