So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize