That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
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