The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize