I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize