I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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