ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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