i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
