Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
