i was born a porn star she said
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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