My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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