If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
