drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I feel great
I just peed on a car
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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