I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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