but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
