Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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