winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
