so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
