Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
